


a britney-spears-confusion

by johnnyfucksup



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Bisexual Joey Tribbiani, Coming Out, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Chandler Bing, Getting Together, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 04:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16319267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/johnnyfucksup/pseuds/johnnyfucksup
Summary: Joey decides spontaneous that he would never touch any other person than Chandler, because it wouldn’t feel as good anyways, so what’s the point?(Not actually Britney-Spears-related, you'll get it.)





	a britney-spears-confusion

**Author's Note:**

> look at your boi go,  
> i'm in a flow yo.  
> even in rhymes,  
> 'cause it needs to be sometimes.
> 
> jk. three fanfics in a few days. all because of friends and because of you wonderful humans who motivate me like crazy.  
> it's your fault, mind that

“I’ve already learned so much from you!”

Sandy shrugs and smiles this dorky little smile which Joey actually finds… pretty attractive. 

It has only been a few days since Sandy started to work as Ross and Rachel’s nanny. And these few days have… confused Joey. Not in a way like his friends sometimes confuse him because – let’s be honest here – he’s not as intelligent or educated as them. And, also not in a way Chandler confuses him sometimes with his jokes that don’t sound like jokes at all, but somehow still are. 

No, Sandy confuses him like Britney Spears confused him when he was about eleven years old and saw her for the first time on television and suddenly had this strange feeling in his stomach. Sandy’s confusion is a Britney-Spears-confusion. And Joey doesn’t know what to do about it. 

Of course, Joey Tribbiani has never been the most intellectual human being, not even in his own family, and yes, he is a bit slow sometimes. But he isn’t _stupid_. He knows what that feeling in his stomach is. This feeling that creeps up his neck and up his cheeks and makes him all dizzy and nervous. 

He feels attracted to Sandy. 

It’s not like he’s in _love_. He’s just in _attraction_. With Sandy. And that wouldn’t be a problem, not at all, when Sandy would be, like his name implies, a _girl_.

Not that Joey has a problem with feeling attracted to a guy. Not at all. But if Sandy were a girl, Joey would know what to do. He wouldn’t feel nervous, he wouldn’t be so sweaty and shaky. He would smirk his usual Joey-smirk and then he would tilt his head and then he would say _How you doin’?_ and that would be it. 

But Sandy’s a _guy_. 

But even more important, he’s _engaged_. 

Sandy has a fiancée and he’s happy with her and isn’t gay. Or bi. He has made that clear before. And even though Joey has made some stupid things in his life and, yes, _maybe_ he has even used some dirty tricks to sleep with some girls, he would never break up an engagement. He isn’t a bad guy. And he doesn’t want to become one. So, he doesn’t do anything. 

xx.

Sandy isn’t employed as a nanny anymore. Joey doesn’t really miss him… but somehow, he _does_. Sandy has been so careful with Emma, so lovely and funny. He could turn education in something that isn’t boring, he had his tricks with children, he was just a good guy. But more importantly, he was _cute_.

And now Sandy is gone, and Joey is still so confused.

He has always been so secure with his sexuality. He likes girls, he likes beautiful faces and soft hair and nice butts and–

That’s not the point. Point is that Joey always liked girls. 

But at the same time, he can appreciate good looking guys. He notices when a guy is handsome, he can even mention it to his friends. Because beauty and cuteness and handsomeness doesn’t have a gender. He can acknowledge when someone looks hot, woman or man or both or neither. But he always thought that _because_ he is so secure and stable in his sexuality he can give credit to both guys and girls. 

But now since Sandy he has realized that maybe it’s _because_ of his sexuality that he notices these things in all genders. 

Actually… that makes a lot more sense.

xx.

Okay, Joey Tribbiani has reconsidered… everything.

He is pretty sure now that he is not straight. He wouldn’t say he’s gay, because he still likes women, but he’s definitely not _straight_. 

And now that he’s pretty sure, not one hundred percent, but _pretty_ , he’s even more confused than he was with Sandy. Because Sandy is gone. But his feelings aren’t. 

Every time he sees a beautiful boy, a handsome guy, a hot fucking man, he becomes a hot mess. He wonders whether he’s just appreciating the look or whether he wants to _grab the guy, throw him on a table and rip his shirt open–_

Not the point. Again. 

Point is, Joey isn’t actually confused. Because he knows what those feelings are. And he knows that he isn’t just _appreciating_. 

And maybe, just maybe, for about thirty percent, he also doesn’t like lesbians because they fulfil the wet dreams of his teenage-self, maybe he likes seeing lesbians because it’s just beautiful. That they’re the same sex and love each other and can show it in public. 

Maybe Joey is jealous. That he can’t have this. That he’ll never get a boyfriend with whom he can walk around in the city, holding hands, kissing, because lesbians are _cute_ , but gays are _faggots_. 

Joey doesn’t think so. He is one of the last people to think so. But he knows that other people do. Even Ross has problems with homosexuality. Not that Ross is homophobic or a bigot or just a bad person. He isn’t. But Ross has this thing with his masculinity and this panic of maybe becoming gay (despite of the fact that one cannot just _become_ gay but Ross hasn’t grasped it yet).

But Joey doesn’t want to miss those experiences with guys, now that he knows that he would rather enjoy it, just because there are still prejudices and alt-right-bigots who preach that “god made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” and such bullshit. 

But Joey also doesn’t want to make those experiences with just _anyone_. Sure, he has had his years when he just whored around carelessly. But this is something different. This is something new. 

So he wants his first few experiences to be with _someone_. 

Someone special, someone he can trust, someone who understands him and someone he can take it slow. Best would be someone who doesn’t have any experiences either, so Joey wouldn’t feel even more embarrassed and nervous and fidgety. 

And Chandler Bing should be the lucky guy.

(Because, why the hell not? Chandler has been his best friend since _always_ , no one knows him better than Chandler, no one would be more careful and adorable than Chandler, no one looks as good as Chandler _in those just-a-bit-but-eye-catching-tight-jeans and his dark green button down shirt, hair maybe damp from showering and water drops falling from his face –_ )

xx.

“Do you find guys attractive?” Joey never was the subtle type.

Chandler isn’t subtle either; he chokes on his coffee, coughs and stares madly at him. Maybe because a shit load of coffee now is relocated from Chandler’s mouth to his shirt. 

“You know I’m not gay,” he answers, strips down his shirt and throws it in the direction of the bathroom. Of course he doesn’t throw it even _near_ the bathroom. But Joey hasn’t got the attention span of making a joke about Chandler’s way of throwing things – or letting them drop, really – because he sits there now, shirtless, just sipping his coffee. 

_Concentration, Tribbiani, this is serious, you’re goin’ somewhere here._

“You don’t have to be gay to find guys attractive,” he shrugs, “I mean, I also think lions are very beautiful, but I don’t wanna have sex with them.”

Chandler seems to fight against a joke, a sarcastic-ass-comment, but then his expression changes. His forehead crumbles – and it looks really fucking _cute_ , Joey _can’t_ – and he lets his gaze wander around. He really seems to think about it. 

“You got a point there, actually,” he thinks out loud, “I mean. I _guess_ there are a few males out there who are _somehow in a way_ not unpleasant to look at.”

Joey can’t stop his grin. He never thought it would be this easy to make Chandler think. With all these issues with his father, Joey thought it would need much more persuasion than just a simple statement that’s rather logical.

“And, y’know, only hypothetically speaking, who are those _males_ that aren’t _somehow in a way_ pleasant to look at?” 

“You know, I don’t have any _examples_ , I never really thought about it…” Chandler contemplates, rubbing his neck. And that’s the gesture right there which gives Chandler away. He never rubs his neck. He is kind of a gesticulation using person when he speaks. He always flails around with his hands, speaks more with his hands and face than with actual words. But he never rubs his neck. Except when he’s lying. 

Joey has him there where he wants him. 

“You sure ‘bout that?” Joey knows how he can affect people. Okay, not people, but women. But he kind of assumes that his tricks will also do with Chandler. 

While Joey’s saying that, he takes his spoon out of his cup of hot chocolate, sticks it in his mouth and spins it there. He stares intensely at his best friend who seems to be rather uncomfortable, especially since he sits here, right in front of Joey, half naked and speaking about finding guys attractive or not. 

“Pretty sure, yes,” but Chandler doesn’t sound _pretty sure_. Chandler doesn’t even sound like he could persuade himself to believe what he says. He prefers to stare at Joey, or rather at the spoon in his mouth, and at his lips, and – oh? Chandler checks him out. Definitely.

“Y’know, I’ve thought about it–“

“Joey Tribbiani is able to think? Wow, I think I have to apologise for every stupid joke I’ve ever made,” of course Chandler has to snark in such a situation. He’s not sure where this conversation is going, so he has to try to take control again. With his stupid little jokes. Joey almost laughs.

“Yes, I did think, I couldn’t believe it myself,” Joey dry-laughs, “But I came to a conclusion. And this conclusion is you.”

Chandler chokes again on his coffee but this time, he keeps it in his mouth. And in his lungs, as it sounds. Joey almost feels sorry for him. Almost.

“Come on, Joe, this is not funny,” and for the first in their entire friendship, Chandler really means it. 

“No! Sorry, I mean,” he’s at a loss of words. “I didn’t mean to make fun of you or anything! I really thought about some things, sorted a few things out, tried to make sense of them. And I realized that I’m not quite as straight as I always assumed. As _everyone_ assumed, let’s be honest. And I didn’t know how to break it to you.” Now Joey isn’t as amused anymore.

“And you can’t come up with a better coming out than to give me two heart attacks, huh,” Chandler smiles again, oh, Joey would like to kiss those smiling lips, feel this smile on his lips.

(And Joey really _does_ want to kiss them. But he’s not just interested in a kiss or in experiences or any physical contact, he wants _Chandler_ , his soul and his smiles and his uncontrollable laughter and his stupid jokes and his impossible to understand sarcastic comments and his _everything_ , and – oh. Joey really did want Chandler, huh.)

“It’s not a ‘coming out’” – Joey really hopes he does this thing with the fingers right – “It’s more of a… confession.”

“Confession? Then, tell me, my good boy Joseph, confess your sins to father Bing.”

Now or never. Go big or go home. And every other proverb that would fit, _Here we go._

“I’m not gay, but I’m not straight, and I don’t even know if I’m bisexual or pansexual or anything in between, I just know that I’m unbelievably attracted to my best friend and I don’t exactly know what to do.”

“Oh, Joey, why didn’t you tell me that sooner. When you got the hots for Ross, you should just go on and tell him, hm?” 

And they say that Joey is the slow one. 

“You know _exactly_ that Chandler Bing is my best friend, this strange and hilariously unfunny idiot with the suits and the overalls when doing sport, and who likes to eat pizza with me and who has this creepy fixation on Baywatch and not being gay, and who makes it really _hard_ for me to accept myself and my new found insight about my sexual preferences–“

But Joey broke midst sentence. His voice just cracked, his eyes are burning, but no, he is _not crying_ because he is a _man_ and men don’t cry, even when their best friend looks at them in utter shock and disbelief.

Joey hates Sandy. 

(Joey hates himself.)

And then it’s silent. For a long, long time. Or maybe it isn’t that long, maybe the time kind of halts when your heart breaks. 

(Oh, yes, Joey’s heart is breaking, in this moment right here, the minute after his words just dropped out of his stupid mouth, and that’s the moment where Joey also realizes that he might be more than just interested in his best friend. He cannot remember a time where he was this devasted after being rejected. Joey just hopes that his heart doesn’t break in too many pieces, _thanks, and then I’d like to have a cappuccino, without sugar._ )

“Joey, how dare you,” and Chandler has never before sounded so offended and angry. Joey is shaking now. But there is no screaming, no offence, no nothing. Okay no, there is not nothing. There are Chandlers hands on his shoulders, his forehead on his own, pressing him tightly but carefully against him. 

“How dare you making me worry all the time whether you’d be disgusted with me for being gay and making me afraid of telling you, and then you even get the chance before me to confess. And then you even dare to feel insecure about it and to think I wouldn’t support you.” 

Joey is too shocked to cry now. He stares at his best friend, even though their faces are so close together that he just sees blurry lines. But he can feel that Chandler is grinning. Not smiling, full on grinning and still pressing their faces together. Joey doesn’t even have time to notice the soft pain in his forehead.

He grabs a fistful of Chandler’s hair, pulls on them, runs his fingers through them. He lets his hands stroke Chandler’s neck and his shoulders and his back, just because he _can_ and because he knows that Chandler would let him, he touches every piece of _Chandler_ he can grasp, down his sides, feeling Chandler shudder underneath his touches. 

And if that would be the only experience Joey would ever get, he would take it. 

But he knows that it _certainly_ won’t be the first and not the last experience he could get. With Chandler, anyway. But Joey isn’t so sure anymore if he wants to have experiences with some other guys than with Chandler. Because these tiny touches feel better than anything he ever felt before, and it’s not even something sexual or erotic, it’s just plain _touching_. 

Joey decides spontaneous that he would never touch any other person than Chandler, because it wouldn’t feel as good anyways, so what’s the point? 

So Joey takes everything he can get, touches every inch of Chandler, touching and stroking and caress, and then Chandler _laughs_. This openhearted, honest, bloodcurdling laugh, loud and unregularly and so, so beautiful. Joey can’t bring himself to let go of him, so he just stops with his teenager-horny-first-love-touching and presses his best friend to his heart, never ever wanting to let him go again.

“I can take that as a ‘I like you too’?” Chandler whispers, burying his hands in Joey’s shirt and his hair and breathing in his ear. 

“I could show you about thirteen ways to show you _how much_ I like you,” Joey breathes back.

“Thirteen? I’m looking forward to it.”


End file.
